And Peter Brought A Pumpkin
by angela evans
Summary: The Season 2 Finale -or- A Short Satire in the Land of Denial


. . . And Peter Brought A Pumpkin  
  
Max, Logan, Asha, and Alec were sitting around in Logan's living room. They were staring at the walls, bored with the lack of good plots lately.  
  
"I know!" Alec jumped up. "What if I sold steroids in the Steelheadz's territory again? Huh? And then Max can come save me . . ."  
  
"Nahh, it's getting old," Max replied.  
  
"Yeah," Alec sighed, slumping back down onto the couch. Minutes passed and then Asha jumped up.  
  
"I've got it!! I'll bat my eyes at Logan and make rude remarks about Max's furry little friends!"  
  
"NO!" shouted Max, Logan, and Alec.  
  
Asha pouted, but she sat back down.  
  
"What's wrong with us?" Max asked. "We don't even have good villains anymore. What ever happened to Evil Lydecker? Why'd he have to turn good?"  
  
Logan shrugged. Alec began throwing popcorn at Asha. A couple pieces bounced off her head before she noticed. "Stop that!"  
  
"Ehh, it's no fun without Weird Kid. Whatever happened to Ralph and Fixit and Bullet and all them anyway?"  
  
"They all rode off into the sunset, remember?" Max asked.   
  
"Oh yeah. Just like whatshisname - Zing? Ping?"  
  
"Bling," Logan corrected.   
  
"Yeah, where is Bling?" Max asked. "He hasn't been seen since what? Hit A Sista Back?"  
  
"Yeah . . . I've noticed the packages piling up outside the door," Logan replied.   
  
Just then, the door flew open. Max and Alec jumped up, ready to fight and Logan and Asha pulled guns.  
  
"Well, Guess nobody missed me," Bling said, taking in the scene.  
  
"Bling! Where have you been?" Logan cried.  
  
"On tour with my band, The Crying Blings. I figured since you had the exo, you wouldn't need me, so I went on tour with Ving and that Steelhead guy."  
  
"You have a band?" Alec asked, but he was ignored.  
  
"We could have used you twelve episodes ago!" Max exclaimed. "Zack killed the exo!"  
  
"Zack?! But he's dead!" Bling explained.  
  
"Bling, this is TV. Nobody ever really dies on TV," Logan reminded him.  
  
"Oh yeah, that reminds me, Ole Deck is hiding out in an abandoned shack until he gets his own Terminator-arm piece and blinking red eye. I passed his place coming back into town," Bling said.  
  
"Told you he wasn't dead!" Max exclaimed to Logan.  
  
"Ha! I win, pay up," Alec said to Asha, who handed him a ten and then went back to her corner.  
  
"So, what's new with you?" Bling asked. "And Logan, what is that on your head? A dead cat?"  
  
"No it's my hair! You weren't here to give me a hair cut or take me to the optometrist. That's why I'm wearing these glasses from the seventies," Logan explained.  
  
"Well! Let's fix that right away!" Bling said, pulling out his hair -cutting scissors.  
  
Meanwhile, On Buddy's Ranch . . .   
  
'Adam' ran into the ranch house. "There's a barcode on my neck!! Why??" He cried.  
  
Buddy smiled patiently. "I've told you a thousand times, Adam, it's a tattoo."  
  
"But I don't remember getting it!!" he cried. "And I remember strange things, too . . ."  
  
Buddy sighed. "Adam, we go through this every week. You have amnesia. Am-knee-Z-a. Of course you don't remember getting the tattoo . . ."  
  
Just then the TV screen went static and an Eyes Only broadcast came on. 'Adam' stared at the screen, transfixed. "It's him! I know him!"  
  
"Adam, you do not know Eyes Only," Buddy said.  
  
"Yes, yes I do! He's shacking up with my sister/girlfriend!"  
  
"Your sister is your girlfriend?" Buddy asked, confused, but Adam/Zack was already running out the door and down the road on his way to Seattle.  
  
Back At Logan's . . .   
  
Bling was giving Logan a haircut while Asha and Alec were taking turns playing with Logan's Eyes Only equipment. Max was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, shaving her legs. Everyone was fairly happy with their amusements.  
  
The door flew open for the second time and Zack charged in, his red eye blazing. "Maxie! I've come to rescue you from Logan!"  
  
"Oh no!" Logan cried and started to wheel himself out the door.  
  
"Not again!" Max groaned, getting up to stop Zack. She ran to the living room where Zack was holding Alec off the floor in a chokehold and had a gun trained on Logan. Asha was jumping on his back, shouting "I'm gonna kick you're a$$!!!" Bling had a gun on Zack.  
  
"Zack, please!" Max cried. "Logan isn't a traitor! If anyone is, it's Asha!"  
  
"But Maxie, I love you!" Zack cried.  
  
"Hey, a little help here?" Alec choked out.  
  
Max launched herself at Zack and a melee ensued. Finally Original Cindy bashed Zack over the head with a frying pan. He stood up, dazed and groggy. "Who hit me? And what am I doing in this movie? I wasn't in the Terminator!"  
  
Max smiled, relieved to have Zack back to normal. Everyone relaxed until Max slipped on a splotch of shaving cream that had slid off her leg and fell - in slow motion - hitting her head on Logan's coffee table. She heard him cry "Max!" as everything went black . . .   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
When Max opened her eyes, she was lying in a bed in Logan's penthouse. He was sitting by the bed, watching her anxiously. "Max!" he exclaimed when he saw she was awake. He reached out for her hand, but she pulled away.  
  
"No! If you touch me, you'll die!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Max, what are you talking about?" Logan asked, his voice showing his confusion, and the hurt mirrored in his eyes.  
  
"The virus . . . you remember, the raid on Manticore, I got shot, you thought I was dead . . ."  
  
"Max, what are you talking about? You were never shot. You tripped on wet grass and hit your head. Zack took care of the X-7 . . . Max, you did it, you took down Manticore," Logan explained.  
  
"But . . . what about Asha? And Alec . . . and Rafer . . . and . . . and . . ."  
  
"Who's Asha?" Logan asked, completely confused. Then Max noticed the glasses he was wearing were his old S1 glasses. "You mean it was all a dream? But you were there, and Cindy was there, and Zack was a Terminator . . ."   
"Welcome back to Kansas, Dorothy," Logan replied. She jumped up and kissed him  
"I love you," she whispered when they broke.  
  
"I love you, too," Logan replied, brushing hair from her face. "There are some people here who want to see you and I don't think I can hold them back much longer," he said.  
  
Max laughed. "Let them in."  
  
So Logan got up and screed over to the door. He opened it and Zack, Syl, Krit, Deck, Cindy, Sketchy, Herbal, Kendra, Bling, a guy with a pumpkin, and a bearded guy in robes holding a casserole walked in.  
  
"Maxie," Zack said, giving her a brotherly hug. Krit, Syl, and Cindy hugged her too. "It is all good, all de tyme," Herbal pronounced. Max looked around at all those gathered and stopped when she came to the guy with the pumpkin and the guy with the casserole.  
  
"Who are they?" she asked.  
  
"Max, don't you remember Peter Pumpkineater?" Logan asked, pointing to the guy. "And Jesus brought a casserole."  
  
~*~ THE END ~*~ 


End file.
